The Scary Part

Today, I lost my job. I can't say it was totally unexpected — I'd been feeling it coming on for quite a while, but usually just pushed the thought to the back of my mind. After five years at this soulless job1, I'd become complacent. Comfortable. Bored. And so I continued coasting, just as I'd been doing for months, maybe years.

I guess it finally caught up with me.

Now I'm sitting here at my dining room table, typing these words and wondering what happens next for me. I have absolutely no clue, even about tomorrow. And if I'm being perfectly honest here, it fucking terrifies me.

This is the scary part. I've thought countless times about what it might be like if I were ever put into this situation, but I just never could make a decision. I didn't plan well enough. I didn't use my time effectively. I feel so stupid and angry at myself at the same time.

But maybe it doesn't have to be all doom-and-gloom. This could be an opportunity to try something crazy, something I never would have thought to do while I was “comfortably” employed. I've got a whole list of ideas for creative passions I've always wanted to pursue, and this could be the time to finally do those things. Maybe my firing was a blessing in disguise.

I'm standing at the precipice, waiting to leap. Into what, I don't yet know — but there's no reason it couldn't be something incredible.

  1. For those wondering, I've been working as an over-the-phone support technician for florists at a fair-sized corporation known as Teleflora. You probably know them from their shitty Super Bowl ads